I have to write this while it's fresh in my brain.
I was catching up on the Biggest Loser tonight on nbc.com. I was sitting there feeling so proud of these people that I don't even know as I see pictures of them at their starting weight next to pictures of them now. The way that you can see the light in their eyes because they know how far they've come is so inspiring. I'm almost in tears over these strangers!
I used to watch this show with a callous over my heart. I would be impressed by the number of weight they lost, hope they wouldn't vote my favorite people off, wish I had trainers like Bob and Jillian, etc etc. It was superficial interest. I was jealous. I was hardened because I wanted to be able to work out for 6 hours a day. I wanted to have food plans designed specially for me. I wanted to lose 8 pounds in a week! I'm sure I could if I just had all those things.
Now I sit here watching it seeing them as my future. I see myself looking as good as they do, and knowing that I feel as good as they do. I see myself as one of those success stories they show every few episodes who lost all their weight at home. Who is this person that's writing this right now? It's so overwhelming to see emotional changes in me that I didn't even know were taking place. I know that I'm changing my life and that I'm going to be where they are soon enough. I took control of my life, my diet, my fitness. And everyone who knows me knows how much I prefer being in control! It might temporarily feel good to eat chocolate or McDonald's or whatever your go-to junk food is. But I PROMISE YOU - this feels better. No matter what setbacks I have or how frustrated I feel, I am determined to do this. And once I set my mind to something, you can bet your ass that I'm not giving up until I get there.