Sorry for not being able to post yesterday! It was a crazy day!
I started off my Saturday by having to be at a 9am alcohol serving class for my new waitressing job. Those of you that know me well know that I am NOT a morning person - but I've taken a class similar to this in Texas and it's SO boring that I preferred to get it out of the way early. It was at Abuelo's, which is like an upscale mexican restaurant. The website said to bring money for lunch, so I had fully intended to order a yummy salad they serve. But, the manager of this restaurant gives the class free lunch, which is nice for my wallet but not so nice for my diet. And of course, he brings out heaping plates of nachos and tacos. I had to eat something because there was 2 1/2 hours of the class left and I was starving! So I had one taco, like 2 nacho chips, and then ate the chips and salsa. Even limiting myself to that, I still ate WAY more calories than I would have. It pretty much ruined any hope of not using my weekly WW points that day. I can't tell you HOW FRUSTRATING it is to sit in front of one of your favorite foods and know you're not supposed to be eating it. And then have to eat it anyway. All kinds of emotions - guilt for eating it, more guilt for liking it, disappointment that I couldn't stick to the plan I had, a kind of anger that most Americans would see no problem that there were almost no vegetables on the table . . . and just general frustration. Basically, it sucked. And I know that this is not a normal situation, but it does happen sometimes in life. An office provides a box lunch or you go to a banquet with a set menu. I know that every day will not be easy and go according to plan, but man it sure does stink when you WANTED to be good and COULDN'T.
The rest of the day wasn't much better except I had more control over what I ate. My friend B was having a birthday dinner, where I got salad and soup, but there was also an appetizer sampler. And I just couldn't resist having a piece of garlic bread with spinach and artichoke dip on it. Then later my friend K and I went scoping out potential gig locations, and I had a couple glasses of wine at the first place. The second place we ended up having a few more drinks bought for us (sometimes it pays to be a girl, I guess) than either of us intended to drink. I could have turned them down, but I didn't. And then after getting home, I was hungry since I didn't have a big dinner, so I ate even MORE. Which just left me feeling guilty today, especially since I decided to take a nap this afternoon instead of going to the gym.
I've been trying to deal with my guilt in a healthier way - knowing that there wasn't much I could do about lunch yesterday. Telling myself that I'll go to the gym tomorrow and Tuesday. Reminding myself that (as I said in my last post), you can't be perfect everyday. But inevitably, I still end up thinking "I shouldn't have had that last drink" or "I shouldn't have eaten those cheez-its when I got home." In the moment, it's always delicious. But that feeling doesn't last long when you can see that you might have put a kink in your weight loss for the week. I do my best to only weigh myself once a week. Otherwise I just get depressed if I'm a little bloated that day or the scale goes up even .2 pounds. Weekly weighing is more accurate - your body fluctuates every day. So I won't really know if I messed up this week until Wednesday, my weigh-in day.
On a slightly lighter note, today has been better. Other than not going to the gym, I've been able to make good decisions today. Maybe it's the guilt driving me to try and undo the events of yesterday. But I know that every time I go to make a decision, I think of this blog and all of you faithful readers! Thanks again for being a fantastic addition to my conscious!