I am tired of being the fat friend. Or feeling like that fat friend. Or of whatever action I personally do that makes my brain react like the fat friend.
All of that. TIRED OF IT. After all my hard work - shouldn't I be able to go out and feel amazing? Shouldn't I be able to go out and own my confidence? Because I'm pretty sure, of all people, I have lived the adage "Confidence is the most sexy aspect of a woman." How else could have I gotten anyone interested in me in college?? Haha.
You know what?! Right there. That's it. I still don't believe I'm worthy of affection. Inside, I'm still the overweight girl striving for attention. Who could have ever loved me the way I was? I was disgusted at myself - who wouldn't feel the same way? Sure, I put on a happy face and had too many shots and had a kind of false confidence. But what I had was the kind of confidence that can come from pure dissatisfaction with oneself.
All of that. TIRED OF IT.