Thursday, January 26, 2012

Weigh-in Day, January 26

186.0. GRRRRRRAAAHHHHHHHHH. That is so frustrating. I gained back almost all that I lost last week. SO FRUSTRATING.

Now, how to handle a weight gain when you were hoping for a weight loss. :)

Step One - Be frustrated. Feel sorry for yourself. Get angry at the scale and call it a lying jerk. For about 30 seconds. THEN STOP. Give yourself a moment to be upset, because it is frustrating. Not acknowledging that frustration is just denying your feelings, which may be part of what got you here to begin with. So don't pretend that those feelings aren't important - they are, of course. But they are not the most important thing. (Thanks, Bob from the Biggest Loser, for reminding me of this recently.)

Step Two - Review your week. What changed? Were you less active? Was your eating more out of control? Did you drink more? Did you eat a lot of salty things that may be causing you to retain water? Is there another reason your body might be retaining water (ladies, this one's particularly for you)? If none of that applies, think about portion control and serving sizes. Think about if you worked out as hard/burned as many calories as you had in weeks prior. Those details matter, especially if you're coming down to the last 10 or so pounds you want to lose.

Step Three - Put your frustration into action. Give yourself a plan. What days will you go to the gym? What will you do on each of those days? Cardio? Weight training? Arms? Legs? Abs? It helps if ALL these questions are answered up front.

Step Four - When step three is hard, make a list of reasons WHY you want to lose weight and lose it NOW. It will keep you motivated when nothing else will.

For me, I know that I ate more than I should have this week. I went out a lot and I didn't control what I ate there as well as I could have. I also worked out a little less (one less day), drank more, and it's my "retaining water" time. So I did a lot of things wrong this week. I'm not actually surprised by my number on the scale today, but I am irritated by it. Of course I want the weight to fall off effortlessly. But it's not going to. Plain and simple - I put in the work to lose weight, I will lose it. I ignore what I know I'm supposed to do, and I will gain.

Here are my reasons to do this NOW:
1) Sister's Wedding in August. GREAT motivator to get on the horse right now and get this done.
2) Entering my mid/late twenties this year. I don't want to spend the majority of my twenties overweight. These are the years I should look and feel my most fabulous.
3) I'm sick of my weight holding me back mentally from things it shouldn't. This is a tricky one.

A friend recently came to me after having gained weight and asked for a little pep talk. I was extremely flattered, and said most of the same things to her as I said above. She came back to me with something she found online that helped her a lot, and when I read it today after weighing in, it helped me too. Here's what it said:

                   To lose the weight would mean to allow myself to hurt. To lose weight would mean  
                   not numbing myself anymore. It would mean experiencing pain to its maximum. It
                   would also mean experiencing happiness. I tend to forget.
                   My weight is a barrier between me and others. I've allowed it to define me because I am
                   afraid of defining myself- and being disappointed. To lose weight would mean to
                   experience. To lose the weight would mean to break down the walls that have protected
                   me for so long.
                   To lose weight also means living in the present. To accept your failures and go for your
                   successes. It would mean leaving the realm of "When I lose weight" and enter that of
                  "Today I will".
                   It is difficult to be thinner because it would entail in living. And life is scary. And life can
                   hurt. But I will find the strength to lose this safety net I have made of my body and allow
                   myself to be for the first time in a while ...

 When you're overweight, there are things you can't do. Maybe you can't do them physically. Or maybe you can't do them mentally because you're scared of being who you really can be. Even after all the weight I've lost, I still find myself saying (in my head) "I would totally wear that if I was thinner" or "When I lose weight, I will go on a cruise and be in a bikini the whole time." In my head, my life is STILL waiting to be lived because I can't live to my fullest at the weight I'm at. A lot of people are afraid to say that stuff - but it's true. If you've ever had those thoughts, know that you CAN change. Even though I'm not at my goal weight, I know there are things that I do now that I wouldn't have done 2 years ago. Things I wear, especially.

So make yourself hurt physically, so your brain can stop hurting you. Go through some pain so you can really live your life with no regrets. And remember that a little weight gain every once in awhile is part of the process. It doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means you're going to have to try a little harder.

<3 Danielle

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