Welcome again friends!
Lots to discuss today before I get into my food log. Because of my late night last night, I did not get up a go to the gym this morning. (See what I mean by late snacking throwing a wrench in your whole sleep cycle and routine?) I was disappointed in myself that I stayed up so late - I knew at the time that I would regret it in the morning, but I just didn't feel tired at all.
I did go for my lunchtime walk today, as usual, even though I didn't really feel like it. It was cold outside, I was still a little tired, excuses, excuses. But I went. I left my purse at the office (so I didn't have to carry it around - it's big), took my phone just in case I got lost, and walked. And surprisingly, today was the FIRST day since starting this challenge that I had a true, sincere, unwarranted desire to just go eat unhealthy food. Yesterday at the movie theater, I wanted to eat popcorn out of habit. Watching football this weekend, I wanted a beer out of habit. Today I just - felt like being unhealthy. Felt like getting some un-nutritious food and saying "Who cares? Who will know?" I was very glad I had left my purse at the office, or I probably would have made an impulsive decision to go straight to the nearest place with french fries. I know you all are thinking, "Surely this is not the first time this has happened. Maybe she just didn't tell us before." But I'm completely serious. I thought this would happen days 2-5, not when I'm almost halfway through with this challenge. And I'm trying to figure out where it came from. Is it boredom? Do I feel like I should be rewarded for sticking to it this long? Am I just not having a good day and it's an emotional reaction? Maybe it's all of those things. Or maybe it's something WAY deeper than that.
When I was still doing Weight Watchers, I reached a point where I plateaued for awhile. I went to a meeting and asked my leader about it. She asked if I was following my plan. I said, "most of the time, I guess" and then she said something that blew my mind. "When you aren't on plan - why are you eating? Is it an emotional issue? Or an accountability issue?"
Such a simple question to start - WHY are you eating? I don't know about you, but I had never been asked a question like that in my whole life. I had never learned to think about food as something that needed a reason - it was just food! You wanted it, you took it. The idea that food was now this thing that that you should even need to think about was staggering. Even if she had just left it at that question, I would have had a lot to think about.
But THEN she followed with, "Is it an emotional issue? Or an accountability issue?" In more simple terms - are you eating because you feel (insert emotional here), or are you eating because you think it won't matter/no one will find out? What the leader didn't know is that I eat for BOTH of those reasons. I eat when I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, and depressed. A lot of people do this, but it is so important to REALIZE that you do it. Here's the bigger one for me: I also have a tendency the most unhealthy food when no one else is around to see me do it. In fact, I ENJOY eating unhealthy foods most when I am alone. Where this habit came from, I cannot tell you. I remember being a child (we're talking like 7 years old) and sneaking into the kitchen when my parents were asleep, taking candy from the secret stash, and eating it when no one is around. (Mostly I remember this because in my childhood brilliance, I would hide the candy wrappers in the couch cushions, thinking my parents were less likely to check there than the trash can. This is not true, for any of you who were planning to do it.) As a CHILD, I found it enjoyable to eat in secret.
And here we have the main reason for me writing this blog over the past 10 days. As most of you readers know I imagine, I'm a pretty proud person. Once everyone knows that I'm doing something, I'm going to keep doing it until I'm finished, no matter what happens. I don't like to back down from a commitment, and that's what I hoped this blog would be for me. Just ONE more way to hold myself accountable. Luckily, it has worked so far. And when I was walking around today, trying to figure out what made me want to cheat, I thought, "I should write about this." I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with cravings that are seemingly unwarranted and definitely misunderstood. I hope that hearing me ramble about my experiences helps at least one of you.
Now, here's the food log for today:
7:45am - Wake-up
8:30am - Chocolate Banana Coffee Protein Shake (see day 8 for recipe) **Important - We got a new protein powder that is DELICIOUS. It is vanilla flavored, and it is much tastier than the one I posted about before. Plus it's reasonably priced. Sun Warrior Warrior Blend Raw Vegan Protein Powder, Vanilla Flavored. (They also have chocolate if you're interested!) Find it here: http://www.amazon.com/Sunwarrior-Warrior-Blend-Powder-Vanilla/dp/B005WLY4L8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1384373266&sr=8-2&keywords=sun+warrior+vanilla+protein
11:30-12:00 - Mid-Day Walk
12:00pm - Chicken Fajita Salad (see day 1 for recipe) Homemade Olive Oil & Lemon Dressing (also on day 1 post). Sparkling water.
6:00pm - Small serving of homemade chili (see day 7 for recipe). Blueberries. Sparkling water with lemon and lime slices.
9:30pm - Grilled Flank Steak, pico de gallo, refried black beans (no sugar added! Check the label before you buy!). Water.
11:45pm - Bedtime!
This was another late night because of my weekly Wednesday rehearsal. I ate less (and lighter) than I did last night so I wouldn't go to bed too late. I also snacked pre-rehearsal (6pm) so I wouldn't be too hungry when I got home. A small snack was enough to get me through rehearsal without being hungry. Plan ahead people! Make sure not to overeat, though!
That's all for today. But tomorrow is another day! Love, harmony & health to you!