Thursday, February 18, 2010

What Honesty Can Do

Today I'm proud of being honest. After years of hiding my body, of hiding the fact that I hate the way I look, I've been able to start changing my life by being honest. And mostly, I'm proud that my honesty has inspired some of my friends to take control of their life, too. My friend Brittany has started a blog very similar to this one. She even joined Weight Watchers because it's been working for me. In her first week, she lost 6 pounds! As if I wasn't happy enough losing weight myself and continuing to stay on plan, I've encouraged and inspired someone I love to do the same. And she is not the only one that has told me they're working towards a healthier self!!

I'm proud that I decided for myself that my life does NOT have to be mediocre - I do not have to be disappointed every time I look in the mirror. I CAN be as happy as I've ever been; I can spend my life at that level of satisfaction with myself. Bad things happen in life, of course, and that stuff is completely out of my hands. But the person that I am, the person I'm becoming - that IS in my hands. I'm proud that I've realized all this, and I'm proud that I've helped people I care about very much realize it.

Interestingly, the more I work on my health and my weight, the more I see my personality improving. I'm more of the person I hope to be one day. I'm a generally happier and more productive person. I don't snap at people as easily, I don't get as aggravated or angry at little things. I guess for me, the happier I am with myself, the happier I am for other people and all their accomplishments. The easier it is for me to be 100% happy for them, instead of like 5% jealous and 95% happy. I'm not saying that overweight people are selfish. But I know that sometimes there was a voice in the back of my head reminding me that I was unhappy. If someone got new clothes, I would think, "I'll never look that good in that outfit." Or if someone ate unhealthy food, I would think, "How come they can eat that and stay thin and I can't?" Living as an unhappy overweight person is exhausting - it feels like acting all the time. Acting like I'm happy, like I'm confident, like I feel like I belong in a group of all my gorgeous friends. But lately, I've been actually FEELING the way that I've been acting like I feel for years. I know I'm not at the finish line, but I'm feeling great about how far I've already come. Maybe it's that I can feel my clothes getting loser, or maybe it's all the endorphins from the gym - but whatever it is, I like it!

Please ask if you'd like the link to my friend Brittany's blog - I hope we can help her feel the same support I feel!

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